Worth the Wait: The Single Woman's Guide to Waiting with Purpose
Today's post is from Authrine T.K. Watson whose vibrant spirit is made more inspiring by her desire to help young women recognize the greatness they possess. Using her salon, Master’s Touch in Bloomington, IL as a platform, Authrine has connected her heart to please God with her passion for uplifting others. She is single, and an advocate and community resource for young women.
With children the word ‘wait’ is used time and time again. When we tell a child to wait, the expectation is that the child will wait. It's interesting that as adults, when we are told to wait, sometimes our immediate response is not waiting. If we do wait, we wait with an attitude or wait impatiently. Just as a parent tells a child to wait, our Heavenly Father has a purpose and a reason for which He tells us to wait. Single ladies, we are not exempt.
If you’re single and waiting to be connected with the man God has designed for your destiny, the man with whom you can help build up the Kingdom of God, the man who deserves your love, I encourage you to wait. Not with an attitude. Not impatiently. Wait with purpose.
How do you wait with purpose? I’m glad you asked. We know that the answers we need are found in God's word.
Occupy means to: keep someone busy or active; immersed, engrossed, filled or preoccupied. Jesus is telling us to be fruitful producers and workers. He is telling us to do something with the gifts, talents and greatness that He has placed down on the inside of us. He wants us to be Kingdom-minded until He comes for his bride. Until He heals, until he restores, until he blesses, until he sends your mate, occupy!
Waiting with Purpose Have you ever been to a restaurant and ordered something off the menu only to find that it’s no longer available? Now mind you, you have been waiting all day, all week even, to devour this special treat. If you are like me, you practically starved yourself so you could guiltlessly indulge. Kind of sounds like that single life, right? You have an appetite for something, a desire, a void that has yet to be fulfilled. But instead of waiting with purpose, what do we do? We sit, allowing our minds to be consumed by our desire. We deprive ourselves of what we really need: joy, peace, spiritual nourishment, friendships, opportunities – because we don’t know how to deal with the fact that what we want is not available right now. But God wants us, single ladies, to live in abundance until our time comes.
How to Live in Abundance While Single
1. Seek God for the purpose of the season Often times we are too consumed with getting out what we are in, that we fail to see the purpose of the season. We focus on what we don't have instead of the beauty of the season. While single, you are FREE!!! You don't have to ask a mate for permission. You can spend your money the way you want (but God still expects you to be a good steward). The list goes on and on. What I’ve come to realize in my singleness is that there is beauty and opportunity for growth in each season of our lives. As you look for the purpose of your season, ask God:
What should I be doing or producing in this season?
What unresolved issues do I have that need attention, healing or deliverance?
Who can I help in this season?
2. Improve yourself What are you waiting for? There are no perfect times or opportunities. He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. (Ecclesiastes 11:4 NKJV) Through wisdom, prayer, faith and counsel, you can create the opportunities you want in life. “But I am afraid.” “I don't have enough money.” “I don’t have enough time.” These are all excuses. When it's about God and His purpose for your life, none of these things matter. I have been afraid many a day, but I have determined to be and do what God wants me to be and do. So, whether it's going to school, working toward a promotion, improving your health, building wealth, do it. Be the best version of you for you. Period. Not for someone else. If God’s plan is for you to have a mate, he will be the perfect match and meet you where you are.
3. Rejoice with others At some point and time in your life, someone you know will be married and you will still be single. Let me tell you, do not compare yourself! Don’t question who you are or question God’s plan for your life. You will always come up short and end up with feelings of sadness. Follow Romans 12:15 which says, Rejoice with them that do rejoice. Yes, rejoice. Celebrate because you’ve just witnessed God’s faithfulness in uniting two who had the same desire as you. Rejoice because you know that what He’s just done for them, He can do for you. Don’t get caught up in your feelings. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re no less of a woman and no less worthy of being found. It just hasn't happened yet. Delayed does not mean denied.
4. Be social and be friendly Many times we are too stuffy – and admit it, too deep – to get out and have fun. It’s okay to get out and be social. Of course, don’t go out and do anything to bring shame to the name of the God you represent, but enjoy yourself. Engage with others. You have something to share. Step out of your comfort zone and strike up a conversation with a stranger. And ladies, please, be friendly. Smile. Make a young man want to approach you. The Bible tells us in Galatians 6:7 that we reap what we sow. Make sure you sow good seeds during this season.
5. Don't curse the season you are in After losing her husband and sons, Naomi suffered a lot of shame and pain because of the season she was in – so much so that she wanted to change the very existence of who she was (Ruth 1:20). There will be days when you experience feelings of sadness, pain, fear, doubt and unhappiness because of the season you’re in. Maybe a relationship that you thought was for you, really wasn’t. Maybe you feel like you’ve been waiting too long. These are feelings and moments that will pass. These are just moments, not your entire life. So don’t curse your season. Speak blessings over your life and thank God for the season. Proverbs 18:21 says, Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Singleness is not a curse or death sentence, it's a blessing. It's a gift. God is sovereign and intentional. Let Him steer your life and order your steps. When you try to do it yourself, you will make a mess. Let God do it for you. He is the best match maker. Know that God won't let you wait without reason. He has a bigger plan in mind and whatever He has up the road is worth the wait. You are worth the wait. Wait in love, wait in patience and wait in courage and strength. Discipline yourself and wait on the Lord.